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Nibs played his most prolific game since joining Sunday Morning Road Hockey from the afternoon league, scoring 10 goals to lead his team to a 20-12 win.

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Week 24
Nibs nabs ten

Afternoon call-up emerges as bonafide sniper

by Jay Suburb

Nibs is a man of few words. He prefers to let his stick do the talking. Sunday, it wouldn't shut up, as the rookie roadster scored ten goals, leading his team to a soggy 20-12 victory.

"I don't know where Nibs buy stick, but I want to play with stick like that," says Pig Farming Goalie of his prolific teammate.

Since being called up from the afternoon game earlier this season, Nibs has quietly established himself as one of road hockey's hardest shooters. Sunday, he announced his arrival as a bonafide sniper.

"Last week I only had two goals, and it was no big deal," says Nibs, modestly. "Everybody's trying to score all the time, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't."

In a league peppered by players only too keen to unleash their thundering slapshots, Nibs picks his spots. While others sail their big shots wide and high over the net, hoping for a curve or aiming for a fortuitous deflection, Nibs has uncanny accuracy to the top corners and between opposing goalies' legs.

"He's hard to stop," says notorious gameshow host gone bad, Wink, who's own slapshot has terrorized goalies since the league's formative seasons at the old tennis courts.

"He quiet, but he show them," says Pig Farming Goalie.

Indeed, Nibs' stealth has been key to his emergence as one of the game's premiere scorers.

"He just works harder," says Lak Attack, who recruited Nibs from the afternoon game. "It's about time he got the respect."

Defenders, accustomed to impeding the quickness of Lak Attack, the craftiness of the Kid or the bombast of the Colonel, have been slow to cover Nibs as he veers through the slot or parks himself at the point.

"I usually try to get myself open all the time, so I can get a chance," says Nibs.

"Everyone knows Nibs is a big shooter, other than the guy who's checking him," says Wink.

And too often in Sunday's game, that was nobody, says Elvis. "He was in the open quite a bit, and he was able to get the shots off."

Against Nibs' rapier accuracy, that was costly.

"If the guy's got a big shot, you've gotta try to take it away," says Wink.

"Defense seem to fall back on him lots," says Pig Farming Goalie. "You cannot give him time to set up."

"All you can do is hope to frustrate him at the beginning of the game to put his shot off the net," says Lak Attack. "Otherwise, there's not much you can do."


Beyond his impact on the scoreboard, Nibs' scoring outburst also demoralized his opponents.
A number of his goals came as his own team struggled in their own end. Just as it seemed his side would succumb to a determined comeback, Nibs stepped over center court to rip a shot into the top corner of the opposite net.

"That happened five, six times," said Pig Farming Goalie. "They have lots of pressure, we bat down ball, turn around and Nibs score big goal."
"He was able to hammer home a few big shots while the momentum was going against them," said Lak Attack.

Lak Attack played his first game in more than a month, Sunday, and, he said, the layoff tempered his effectiveness.
"You miss the passes, you can't get the shots off quickly enough before you're checked, you're slower," said the star sniper.
The steady rain that fell throughout the game and made the concrete courts as slick as ice also didn't help.
"It was a bit too slippery out there, and I couldn't get anything going."
And that was music to the opposition's ears.
"He such good player, it tough to see him come up from end of court," said Pig Farming Goalie of the fleet forward. "You pinch anus tight so you don't poop pants when he is running straight at you with ball."

Sunday's game got off to a controversial start when the Living Legend agreed to trade the Colonel for Billy Idol, in an ill-fated effort to balance the teams. Instead, he may have swung the advantage to his opponents.
"I think that was the difference," said Lak Attack. "The Colonel got traded and it was over. He was mad and upset about it so he was pretty motivated in the game."

For the first time in his last three starts, Pig Farming Goalie played for the winning side. It was a welcome respite from porous defenses and unrelenting rebounds.
"Today, defense much better," said the agrarian goaltender. "Lots of pressure but they clear ball when it bounce off me."
The win also provided a much-needed boost to his confidence, as his frustration and temper had percolated to the boiling point during his losing skid.
"Confidence back a little bit. I think we in good place now."