Nibs unleashes one of his patented slapshots. Eventhough every roadster on the court knows exactly what's coming whenever Nibs gets the evil orange plastic ball, he was still able to blast seven goals to lead his team to a 20-17 win in Sunday's Shrimp Ring Bowl.


Week 14
Nibs' shellfish feast

Shooter slaps seven in shrimp ring showdown

by Jay Suburb

Nibs doesn't care for the taste of shellfish. But at Sunday's Shrimp Ring Bowl, he feasted, scoring seven goals to lead his team to a dramatic 20-17 win.

As always, it was his blistering slapshot that was his weapon of choice as he helped his side open a 14-9 lead, and then sparked them to score five straight after they had squandered that advantage.

"Nibs was a big factor," says Billy Idol, of his side's slapshooting centerman. "We ran hard and we got a lot of good goals."

"Nibs really stepped up for us," says Paul One. "He got us some very timely goals."

Never more so than when his big shot helped lift his team from a mid-game swoon that had turned a six goal advantage to a 15-14 deficit. Down 17-15 late in the game, Nibs ripped a bullet drive past a sprawling Pig Farming Goalie, the first of his side's five unanswered goals to seal the victory.

"He's able to pick corner," says Pig Farming Goalie. "He turn and shoot quickly."

"The guy's got one weapon, and we let him use it all game," says the Colonel.

"That's exactly what we needed, a goal injection like that," says Paul One. "Nibs got a good run going there, he just took over."

"Nibs came out and scored a couple of key goals," says New Guy, who, along with notorious gameshow host gone bad Wink, set the table for their hard-shooting linemate by sending him passes and setting up screens. "He gets his good chances to score. He's got a quick release and when it's working, it's great."

And with Nibs' teammates struggling to regain the momentum that seemed to be sending them towards an easy, and early, victory, he says he knew he had to step up.

"If you lose the confidence, the momentum will shift to the other team," says Nibs. "I've just got to play my hard game, try to hit the ball hard."

The Stick Pull (Gump)
Gump (G) Pig Farming Goalie(G)
Lak Attack Colonel
Nibs Bird
Wink Kid
Billy Idol Living Legend
Paul One Guy Called Mike
New Guy  
Scratches: Beetle Boy (exploitative employer), Lobsterboy (healthy), Slick (legal problems), Ottoman (unsanctioned sex), Elvis (traveling), Giebelhaus (exploitative employer)


Whenever Nibs get the ball, it's never a surprise to the roadsters that he'll pull his stick back up over his shoulders to unleash his blistering blast. That he keeps scoring with it, is.
"What you have to do with Nibs, you have to challenge him at the point so he can't get his shot off," said the Colonel, who connected on nine shots of his own in Sunday's game. "It's like if the ball gets to a certain velocity, it goes in. And Nibs can reach that velocity."
"He's got sort of a seeing-eye shot," said New Guy.
"When ball get turned over so quick, you can't let goaltenders get set," said Pig Farming Goalie, of his nemesis' renowned quick release. "They seem to understand that faster ball is harder ball for goalie to stop."
But, said Nibs, there's little mystery to his success.
"You've got to be quick," said the sharpshooting sophomore. "If I just stay there and wait for a shot, the defense is gonna come on me."

Nibs' contribution to his side's victory overshadowed the Colonel's heroic performance for the losing side. Playing his first game in three weeks, he took control halfway through the game to single-handedly lead his team from the wilderness of a six-goal disadvantage.
"When you get down 12-6, it's too much," said the feisty forward, who caught fire after a spirited confrontation with arch-rival, Lak Attack, along the boards. "You've gotta work hard and get it back fast. You've gotta try to get it all back in one shift. If you do, you have a chance."
He did almost just that; the comeback took three shifts.
"It was definitely tough," said New Guy, of his opponent's outburst. "Colonel just kept popping goal after goal. For two or three shifts we tried to stop the hemorrhaging, but we just couldn't do it."
But they couldn't maintain that momentum. And, said Billy Idol, their reliance on the Colonel's individual effort may have been their undoing.
"I think Colonel threw off the other team," said the rocking rebounder. "He came out all fired up but he was just playing for himself, and you can't have a team with just one guy."

Sunday's win was especially tasty for the victors, as it came in the eighth Shrimp Ring Bowl, the roadsters' annual celebration of the first game of a new year.
"It's always big to get a little chunk of shrimp when you deserve a chunk of shrimp," said fellow founding father Wink. "Being a veteran, I understand the history of the Shrimp Ring, that it's one of the great games of the road hockey year."
"The win tastes as good as the shrimp did," said Paul One, another veteran of every Shrimp Ring Bowl.
"That was a huge win for us," said Billy Idol, a winner in his second Shrimp Ring showdown. "This team today had a lot of character, we had a lot of good players."
"It was nice," said New Guy, who scored the game winner after joining the game midway through the second period.