The Stick Pull (Cliff)
Scratches: Beetle Boy (exploitative employer), Lobsterboy (healthy), Slick (legal problems), Ottoman (unsanctioned sex), Wink (exploitative employer), Pig Farming Goalie (stress), Colonel (unsanctioned injury), Giebelhaus (exploitative employer)
Lobsterboy's gametime decision to stay dry instead of venturing into
Sunday's light drizzle disappointed a lot of the roadsters. Only five
weeks ago he couldn't find a place between the pipes when four other rearguards
had already strapped on the leg pads for a mini-tournament.
But since then, Ottoman has succumbed to temptations of the flesh and last week, Pig Farming Goalie, worn down by the mental toll of his position, announced his self-imposed exile. And the venerable veteran has been unwilling to reclaim his position.
"I think maybe the game has passed him by," said Paul One of the truant shotstopper. "We had so many guys who could play goal, and people were just taking it for granted. There's no commitment to the game."
"The guys are feeling a little let down," said Elvis. "They're disappointed with our current roster of goalies, who've decided it's more fun to sit around than come out and play hockey."
Elvis played his first game in a month, after he returned from an
international scouting mission. And by the end of the game, the usually
feisty forward showed the effects of his extended layoff, walking back
to the defensive zone, steering away from battles in the corners, and
"I was starting to feel it," said Elvis of his flagging fitness. "I was sorta running low on steam at the end."
Besides Lobsterboy, Sunday's roster was further depleted by three
regulars, Beetle Boy, Giebelhaus and Wink, who were forced to service
the onerous demands of their exploitative employers. But one roadster's
exploitation is another's opportunity, as two rookies were able to step
into the lineup to make their Sunday Morning debuts. Neither seemed prepared
for the tempo.
Cowboy Bill, a big lumbering defender recruited by Gump, struggled to control the evil orange plastic ball until he finally connected for his first goal late in the game.
Cliff, a small, wiry bandmate of Billy Idol's, had trouble with his footing, falling heavily time and again as he slipped on the concrete courts, slicked by the morning's drizzle.
"I think they were a little shell-shocked," said Elvis.
And his side was only too happy to take advantage.
"We were looking for the match up whenever we saw both those guys out there."
But, said Paul One, the newcomers could hardly be faulted for their side's woes, as the treacherous conditions were a challenge for even the veterans.
"I think it's the slick court, there's lots of open breaks and odd-man rushes," said the aging forward. "If you're running up court, it's hard to stop and come back. The ball takes a bounce and starts heading in the other direction, but you just can't turn and get back in a hurry."