Unabomber follows through on one of his rapier blasts that fooled a beleaguered Pig Farming Goalie all game and sparked his team to a dramatic 20-18 comeback win.


Week 18
Blasting back

Rookie rapier rips six to spark resurgence

by Jay Suburb

Unabomber's first game as a Sunday Morning roadster was a big blast.

The newfound forward ripped six rapier slapshots past a shell-shocked Pig Farming Goalie to lead his team to a dramatic 20-18 win.

"He's tough," says the agrarian goaltender of his neophyte nemesis. "Some of them, ball curve and it's extremely hard to follow. Their power shots ultimately made game win."

The win was especially remarkable because Unabomber didn't find his range until after his side had dug itself into an early six-goal hole, down 8-2. But his low, hard shot from center court that just eluded Pig Farming Goalie's outstretched pad set the table for a methodical comeback that culminated when his side took their first lead at 19-18.

"Something had to happen to get back in it," says Unabomber, who was recruited by Elvis. "You've gotta just get going one goal at a time."

That's exactly what he did. With a quick release and precise accuracy to the low corners, Unabomber was a threat from all over the court.

"He was there for us," says Billy Idol of his hard-shooting teammate. "You try to create a few diversions and you make sure you can pass it back to him."

"You start looking for him at the point," says Paul One. "Unless somebody can get to him quickly, he's able to get the shot off."

"You gotta get open quick and let it go quick, because there's someone on you right away," says Unabomber.

By the time another bolt of stuffing had been knocked from Pig Farming Goalie's disintegrating leg pads, Unabomber had brought his team back from the brink. His strapping slapshot had given his mates new life and shaken the confidence of their formidable foes.

"His shots were a huge thing for us," says Beetle Boy, who returned to the road hockey courts after he missed last week's game to service the onerous demands of his exploitative employer. "A couple of times when we were struggling and went through long stretches without getting a goal, he blasted one right by. I think it sorta deflates the other team a bit."

"They're the big goals that help your momentum," says Paul One, who capped the comeback by scoring the winner. "He had a few people backing away."

"I just felt like ball machine just loaded up and shoot at me, shot, shot, shot, shot, many more shots," says Pig Farming Goalie, of Unabomber's barrage.

"There's only so many opportunities, and you gotta make them count," says Unabomber.

The Stick Pull (Unabomber)
Pig Farming Goalie(G) New Guy(G)
Kid Lak Attack
Living Legend Paul One
Bird Nibs
Rudy Beetle Boy
Elvis Unabomber
Not Lak Billy Idol
Scratches: Slick (legal problems), Gump (cold), Lobsterboy (domestic duties), Colonel (unsanctioned injury), Giebelhaus (exploitative employer), Wink (exploitative employer), Ottoman (unsanctioned sex)


Unabomber's Sunday Morning debut was also the first time he'd fired the evil orange plastic ball in anger in more than two years. And while he struggled with his timing and positioning early, he said he had a simple gameplan.
"Just working hard and taking advantage of some opportunities," said the bearded ball blaster.
Other roadsters saw echoes of another powerful premier last season, when Nibs fired his way into a regular playing position after being called up from the afternoon game.
"That was last year's Nibs is what that was," said Billy Idol.
Unabomber said he'll be at next week's game.

Despite falling behind 8-2 and then 12-6, Unabomer and his mates never got down, never gave up. And when the goals finally started going in, they knew what they had to do.
"When we were down, we just started looking at each other and thinking we can't let this completely get away from us," said Paul One. "We figured if we started working harder in our own end, it would start to happen for us at the other end."
"We just decided that we were down mostly because we weren't running in our own end," said Beetle Boy. "We just made a commitment to work harder."
"We just had to keep up," said Billy Idol. "We just said to ourselves we gotta hustle, we gotta be there."
Their goalie, New Guy, also had some work to do. A few of those early goals had come on messy rebounds, and he seemed to have trouble picking up the evil orange plastic ball in his equipment.
"I lost confidence and I started to be a little unsure when they came in," said the returning rearguard, who was making his first start between the pipes this season, as a last-minute replacement for the ailing Gump. "You've got to get back to fundamentals, come out, take away the lower half of the net and make them beat you."

At the other end of the court, Pig Farming Goalie's comeback to the crease after more than a month as a fallow forward, fell just short of triumphant. But that wasn't for a lack of trying. As his mates' stamina sagged late in the game, he stood up to wave after wave of deking, slapping and chopping forwards.
"I was able to see lots of the shots," said the agrarian goaltender. "Players lose zip. I knew that eventually we were going to flag."
"PFG had a massive game," said Billy Idol, who was stymied time and again as he struggled to regain his scoring touch in his first game back since hurting his back two weeks ago. "You almost hate to see him lose."
"You can't fault the goaltender," said Paul One. "It was good goaltending all day. A different day, and it could have been a different result."