Kid battles Billy Idol to reach a loose ball, but the speedy centerman still managed to spring free to score four goals on his first shift, leading his team to a decisive 25-14 win in Sunday's game..


Week 27
Kid sets the pace

Four goals on first shift crushes opposition

by Jay Suburb

Kid is used to scoring goals. Sunday, he netted nine of them. But it was the four he counted on his first shift that set the pace for his team's decisive 25-14 win.

The speedy centerman took advantage of the dry court and added traction to drive to the net from the game's opening face-off, streaking in unchecked from the wing to tip in crosscourt passes, sneaking behind the defense to break in alone on a beleaguered Gump. By the time Kid and his linemates took their first break, they had built a 6-0 lead.

"It was very big," says Kid of his searing start. "It's surprising that it happened right at the beginning. It just makes it easy to win."

"It was huge," says Lobsterboy, who was able to ease into his first start in three weeks as his side swarmed the offensive zone. "You've got to play to win."

"We came out with a lot of determination and a lot of speed," says Elvis. "We just outplayed the defense."

When that defense is standing still as the Kid and his linemates roam at will, that's a bad combination, says Paul One, who was on the court for much of the first-period carnage. "It's almost like we waited for a period to start. We couldn't focus right from the beginning. We just weren't into the game."

And already down by six goals, it was unlikely they ever would be.

"That's a tough hole to climb out of," says Rudy, who returned to the court after missing last week's game.

"We dug ourselves a real big hole at the beginning there," says Paul One. "It was just too much to overcome."

Not that his side didn't try. Sparked by a feisty second line, including some tough forechecking by young rookie guest player, MJ, the underdogs were able to claw their way back to within two goals, 14-12.

"We had that MJ kid, he was spinning around and keeping it in," says Rudy of his side's second-period surge. "We started to control the game, we were really pressing them. We were buzzing around their net and some of them were going in."

"We stepped up our intensity," says Paul One. "I think we were being a little more responsible in our end. Defense creates offensive chances, and that was what was happening."

"It was looking like it was going to be a bit of a game," says Elvis of his side's swoon.

"We fell flat in the middle period," says Lobsterboy. "We were laughing at 7-0, and the next thing you know, they're catching up."

But then the Kid sprang loose again and Unabomber connected on a couple of big blasts from the point. This time, the hole was just too big.

"That's what happens, a couple of quick goals and the tide is going the other way again," says Paul One.

"That's especially hard, when you've already come back once to have to do it twice," says Rudy.

"Kid was scoring again, and that was it," says Lobsterboy. "We just had to calm down and play our game."

"I think we got scared, mostly," says Kid. "A combination of us getting scared and trying harder, and they just weren't able to keep it up."

The Stick Pull (Living Legend)
Gump (G) Lobsterboy (G)
Lak Attack Nibs
Billy Idol Kid
Living Legend Roach
Wink Elvis
MJ Unabomber
Rudy Bird
Paul One  
Scratches: Slick (legal problems), Cowboy Bill (unsanctioned baseball), Colonel (unsanctioned injury), Giebelhaus (exploitative employer), Ottoman (unsanctioned sex), Pig Farming Goalie (exploitative employer), Beetle Boy (weather was too nice)


Kid's nine goals fell short of his season-high ten, which he's achieved a couple of times. And as the regular season winds down and the roadsters begin gearing up for the Stanley Stick Championship Series, at the end of May, the diminutive deker said he's serving notice that he intends to be a factor in the finale.
"It's always tough in the Stanley Stick," said Kid, who's struggled in previous championships to cope with the tight checking and rough play along the boards. "Every year I've been getting better and better, so hopefully this will be the year I win it."

Kid's performance may have benefited from the diminished resistance offered by Gump, who was still reeling Sunday morning from his Saturday night excesses.
"We knew he was struggling," said Elvis of the wobbly shotstopper. "I think at one point he said he was going to puke out. We took advantage of that and made it count."
"I think he'd be the first to admit it wasn't his best outing," said Paul One of his pickled pal.
But the boozy ballstopper wasn't entirely to blame, as his defense repeatedly allowed Kid or Bird to stand unchecked at the side of the crease, or coughed up clearing passes to the pointman, waiting to unleashed booming blasts at the net.
"It certainly didn't come down to one player losing it for us out there," said Paul One. "It was a whole myriad of mistakes."
"I feel sorry for Gump, he had no defense," said Lobsterboy.

Lobsterboy returned to the crease after missing the last two games to salve the pain of his humiliating loss to Pig Farming Goalie in the Six-Pack Challenge. And though he showed some signs of rust, especially as he faltered through the middle of Sunday's game, his flat-footed foes admitted they could sense glimmers of the creaseminding crustacean's renowned intensity.
"I think we had a little better goaltending," said Elvis.
"If you don't play consistent, you lose.," said Lobsterboy.