The Stick Pull (Living Legend)
Scratches: Slick (legal problems), Cowboy Bill (unsanctioned baseball), Colonel (unsanctioned injury), Giebelhaus (exploitative employer), Ottoman (unsanctioned sex), Pig Farming Goalie (exploitative employer), Beetle Boy (weather was too nice)
Kid's nine goals fell short of his season-high ten, which he's achieved
a couple of times. And as the regular season winds down and the roadsters
begin gearing up for the Stanley Stick Championship Series, at the end
of May, the diminutive deker said he's serving notice that he intends
to be a factor in the finale.
"It's always tough in the Stanley Stick," said Kid, who's struggled in previous championships to cope with the tight checking and rough play along the boards. "Every year I've been getting better and better, so hopefully this will be the year I win it."
Kid's performance may have benefited from the diminished resistance
offered by Gump, who was still reeling Sunday morning from his Saturday
"We knew he was struggling," said Elvis of the wobbly shotstopper. "I think at one point he said he was going to puke out. We took advantage of that and made it count."
"I think he'd be the first to admit it wasn't his best outing," said Paul One of his pickled pal.
But the boozy ballstopper wasn't entirely to blame, as his defense repeatedly allowed Kid or Bird to stand unchecked at the side of the crease, or coughed up clearing passes to the pointman, waiting to unleashed booming blasts at the net.
"It certainly didn't come down to one player losing it for us out there," said Paul One. "It was a whole myriad of mistakes."
"I feel sorry for Gump, he had no defense," said Lobsterboy.
Lobsterboy returned to the crease after missing the last two games
to salve the pain of his humiliating loss to Pig Farming Goalie in the
Six-Pack Challenge. And though he showed some signs of rust, especially
as he faltered through the middle of Sunday's game, his flat-footed foes
admitted they could sense glimmers of the creaseminding crustacean's renowned
"I think we had a little better goaltending," said Elvis.
"If you don't play consistent, you lose.," said Lobsterboy.