Nibs is robbed by Gump on this scoring attempt, but the sophomore slapshooter held the upper hand on the beleaguered ballstopper the rest of the day, scoring nine times to lead his team to a decisive 25-12 romp.


Week 29
Nibs nets nine

Slapshooter has time, as defenders mind mates

by Jay Suburb

As defenders scrambled to stop his speedy linemates, Nibs suddenly found himself with time to shoot. He didn't miss.

The sophomore slapshooter scored nine times, many of them blistering blasts between the legs of a beleaguered Gump, to lead his team to a 25-12 romp in Sunday's game. It was his biggest offensive game since he scored ten in Week 24 last season.

"I was shooting a lot today," says the soft-spoken centerman, who's struggled at times during his sophomore season as defenders rush to prevent him from getting enough time to set up for his blistering low slapshots from the point.

But Sunday, those defenders had their hands full trying to keep up with Nibs' mighty mates, including the speedy Lak Attack, hard-charging Elvis, and the ever-dangerous Kid and Bird.

"That took a little weight off my shoulders," says Nibs. And put the ball on his stick.

"It makes the game a whole lot easier when you have outlet passes going to guys," says Lak Attack, who returned to action after missing last week's game. "We definitely got our opportunities and we were able to bury them."

"He needs someone to get him the ball," says New Guy of his side's slapshooting centerman. "He needs someone to put the ball on his stick, and then he can be really deadly."

"They had such a good team, a lot of fast runners," says Billy Idol of his side's defensive dilemma. "You find yourself running around in circles trying to check one guy, and then he passes off to the big shooter."

"I don't think we paid any special attention to Nibs, which was maybe a mistake," says Beetle Boy. "We just let him fire all the time. Everything he shot just seemed to go in."

And when disoriented defenders turned their attention to the hardshooting pointman, that just opened up his linemates.

"When Nibs is a big threat out there, that makes it that much easier for the rest of our line," says Lak Attack. "They start doubleteaming him and it opens up another guy."

"It definitely loosens you up," says Elvis of his mate's knack for drawing defenders. "It takes a little more pressure off, you're a bit more relaxed when you're out there."

"There was no way we could keep up with their fury," says Rudy.

The Stick Pull (Living Legend)
Gump (G) New Guy (G)
Unabomber Nibs
Billy Idol Kid
Living Legend Lak Attack
Wink Elvis
Hoops Cowboy Bill
Rudy Bird
Beetle Boy  
Scratches: Slick (legal problems), Lobsterboy (familial obligations), Colonel (healthy scratch), Giebelhaus (exploitative employer), Ottoman (unsanctioned sex), Pig Farming Goalie (exploitative employer), Paul One (familial obligations)


Nibs' big game came at the expense of Gump, who struggled in his first start in two weeks.
"You don't wanna get down on your goalie, but it was tough," said Rudy of his side's goaltending woes. "He was letting in everything."
"Gump had a horrible game today," said Elvis. "When you've got guys on your team who can put it between a goalie's legs as easily as they can, it's just a formula for success."
Indeed, the suffering shotstopper was beat repeatedly by long shots between his leg pads, goals that seemed to knock the stuffing from his mates.
"It's tough to stay motivated when four out of the last six shots go in on bad goals," said Billy Idol. "They had no problem scoring goals today."
"It's just really demoralizing," said Beetle Boy. "Some days you have an off day in net, and I think Gump was just having an off day."
"The hard thing is on the team," said Gump of his goaltending misadventure. "I let some weak ones in, and it definitely takes a toll on the team."

Not that Gump was going to dwell on poor play, as he bounced back strongly to win Sunday's consolation game, 10-7.
"You've just got to try to make a couple of good saves, try to get your head back in it," said the grieved goaltender of his afternoon rebound. "I just have to get back to basics, keep my head straight, keep angles cut down, try to make some saves."

Sunday's game actually started well for Gump and his overmatched mates, as they jumped to a surprising 3-1 lead. But it was only a matter of time before their powerhouse opponents turned on the goal light.
"We just had to be patient," said Lak Attack. "We knew we were going to get our opportunities, sooner or later. We kinda took over from there."
"We just had to regroup and just remember that we were indeed the better team," said Elvis.
"At the beginning, we were struggling a little to put it in the net," said New Guy.
But once the defensive dike was breached, the goal flood quickly followed. The two-goal deficit soon became a lead that got as large as ten.
"Their lead just kept expanding," said Rudy. "We just couldn't keep up."
"They were just all over us," said Beetle Boy. "It was just really daunting to go up against them."
"You almost feel at times that you're fighting a losing battle," said Billy Idol. "You take your lumps and that's it."